my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
