Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
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