The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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