We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
