All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What a fucking waste of an outfit
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
