my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
