I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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