Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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