why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
