The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
