Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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