So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
