i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
