people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
