i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
