Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
