all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
