3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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