Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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