How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
