I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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