I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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