Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
