I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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