Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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