I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize