my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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