i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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