need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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