i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
