Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
