Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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