yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pants are for mortals
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize