who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
