So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
