We're facebook friends in real life
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
