I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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