sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
