You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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