Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize