I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
