How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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