On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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