Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize