Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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