just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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