I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize