That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
