The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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