remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is it penis luge time yet?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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