Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
