..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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