This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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