dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
