But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
