It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
