Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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