Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Randomize
