They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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