Me too!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
not ubering you a puppy
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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