Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
