Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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