all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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