so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
