The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize